It is one of those questions I ask myself all the time, "Why do unhealthy people resist change?" You would imagine that an unhealthy person would want to get healthy and in many cases they do, but for some it really is a struggle. I am not even talking about the physical aspect of things, I am talking about the over all person from the inside out. Relationships can make people toxic and unhealthy, yet they stick around those people who will continue to abuse them, their trust, resources, etc. It makes no sense to me. However, if everyone were content and healthy I would be out of a job and we would all be in heaven. This side of heaven people will always have issues. It is how one handle things that make the difference.
There are some who have been living so unhealthy in so many areas of their life that if the healthy "bug" came up behind them and bit them in the rear end, they still would not be able to recognize it or even accept it. In fact, they may even reject 'healthy' because they do not know any better.
Most of the time the one(s) who are living in an unhealthy situation will not see it until something drastic happens. Recognizing that there needs to be lifestyle changes is the one key piece that will make the true difference.
We have heard the phrase, 'you can lead a horse to water but you can not make him drink,' it is cliche i know but very true. You can tell someone the truth, even if it hurts. You may also show them a better way, but you will never be able to make them change.
People change when they want to change and when their pain is greater for them then the fear of change itself.
What can you do as a person surrounded by unhealthy people?
Here are a few to start:
1. Be the change you want to see- all you can do is live your life the way you want to live and live it out healthy, true, and whole. Sooner or later those around you that have been spinning out of control will either spin out of your life all together or they will see a difference and maybe one day want some of that difference.
2. Keep healthy boundaries- stand your ground. Those who are unhealthy will reject your boundaries and manipulate you to feel guilty, feel sorry for taking a stand, for leaving, etc... STAND your GROUND!
Pick up the book Boundaries, by Cloud and Townsend.... awesome resource!!! Every family in America should read this book.
3. Seek Counseling- there is no shame in seeking wise counsel. Seek it...and find it...and do it!
These are just a couple things but know that every day, every person has a choice. They have a choice to survive or thrive. Thriving is the way I want to live....how about you?