Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Dealing with manipulative people

Manipulative people can surface in many relationships. It is important not to confuse manipulation with "influence" . Someone that is influential creates balance and health and spurs you on to be a better person and reach your goals. Manipulation however is a tactic used to control others through lies, remarks, stories, actions,financial means, etc. It can rear its ugly head in many ways. What do you do and how do you handle this, especially if you have someone close to you has been manipulating people all their life. For some it is a way of life. It is not the correct way of life though. People like this are fearful, and in most cases can be very dramatic with their every day life. Most of the time their ultimate desire is self based and they will not have close personal relationships with others. Ultimately their manipulation backfires. But nonetheless, they can be difficult to deal with and you need to be able to recognize manipulation and stand up to it.
In some cases the manipulative person can and will target who they "can" and can't manipulate. Keep in mind....from an earlier post,.....There is no show without an audience! Same for manipulators....they can not manipulate others, if they are not allowed. If someone feels they can manipulate you, they will keep calling, keep coming back, and continuously showing up in your life for something unhealthy.
Keep a balance in your relationships. Keep manipulators at a distance. It takes two to tango...and it always involves two when their are unhealthy patterns. Have nothing to do with it! So, I know the question is there, what do you do when this person is someone in your family? A spouse, parent, or child. Obviously those relationships you can not walk completely away from. BUT, you need to be very specific, clarify what you will and will not allow and enforce that you have boundaries. This will not be easy, you will have differing opinions, but you need to keep unhealthy people in your life at a distance and make them understand how far they can go.
Maintain your character. Manipulative people lie. Keep this tactic in mind. Remember, manipulative people are driven by fear and insecurity and will do whatever it takes to make themselves feel better. Be true to who you are,  who have you always been, manipulators have a pattern and I guarantee you are not the only one in their lives who sees it.
Set limits with people who try to manipulate you and clarify what it is that the relationship will be. Some people you just can not be close to in all of the ways you want to be because of unhealthy patterns or destructive habits.
 photo:http://www.activatemg.co.nz/middle-management-development/

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Good News...The power of happy thoughts

I love getting good news, don't you? I really can not imagine anyone not loving good news. I know for me and my family we have had some tough few weeks. It seemed like we had bad news every day last month. Today I am thrilled and celebrating for two very special people in my life. I have two very dear friends who have had an "out of the blue" surprise and it proves that all things can become beautiful in time, and how God always makes things new.
In our world it seems that stress and gloom can bombard our thinking, it can weigh us down, make us sad, and even depressed.Taking time to think about the good things that have come into your life makes you value what is important and re-evaluate some of your goals. Filing our spirits and minds with good and happy thoughts actually improves the quality of our life. When we constantly focus on the negative or live a life of comparison it creates a breeding ground for unhealthy thoughts to take over.
By changing the way you think you can create a more positive environment for yourself and those around you. I am taking today to rejoice, it is so important to love others enough to be able to rejoice with them when good things come their way. Celebrate all of life's big and small surprises!!