Life is the real thing.

Life is the real thing, and you get one chance at it. Do not live your life as if you can ask for a do-over. We all have one chance to make our mark. Leave the legacy you believe in. Find out what it is that makes you tick. The passions in your heart are there for a reason! Find your abilities, talents, and gifts that make your life unique and special and use them to better yourself and the world around you!

Take Action! Today!

The critical ingredient is getting off your butt and doing something. It's as simple as that. A lot of people have ideas, but there are few who decide to do something about them now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. But today. The true entrepreneur is a doer, not a dreamer.  - Robert Browning 

 I just love this...I had to share this today. Too many times we put off things until someday...
Some day is today!

Character, what is it?

Over the past several years, since I began life coaching one of the things you depend upon when working with other people is that you would hope they are being honest with you. Even in a relationship or friendship we all desire honesty and transparency but we do not live in a perfect world. For many reasons people lie, most of the time it is to protect themselves, to gain some sort of personal gratification, to hide, or to even have some control over a situation they feel is out of control. Of course, none of it is actually valid but in the moment, it happens.
So what is character? Is someone's character really shown by their actions? I believe character is shown when someone lives their life as if nothing is a secret. What you do in secret when you think no one is watching defines who you really are and what you are actually all about.

Dealing with manipulative people

Manipulative people can surface in many relationships. It is important not to confuse manipulation with "influence" . Someone that is influential creates balance and health and spurs you on to be a better person and reach your goals. Manipulation however is a tactic used to control others through lies, remarks, stories, actions,financial means, etc. It can rear its ugly head in many ways. What do you do and how do you handle this, especially if you have someone close to you has been manipulating people all their life. For some it is a way of life. It is not the correct way of life though. People like this are fearful, and in most cases can be very dramatic with their every day life. Most of the time their ultimate desire is self based and they will not have close personal relationships with others. Ultimately their manipulation backfires. But nonetheless, they can be difficult to deal with and you need to be able to recognize manipulation and stand up to it.
In some cases the manipulative person can and will target who they "can" and can't manipulate. Keep in mind....from an earlier post,.....There is no show without an audience! Same for manipulators....they can not manipulate others, if they are not allowed. If someone feels they can manipulate you, they will keep calling, keep coming back, and continuously showing up in your life for something unhealthy.
Keep a balance in your relationships. Keep manipulators at a distance. It takes two to tango...and it always involves two when their are unhealthy patterns. Have nothing to do with it! So, I know the question is there, what do you do when this person is someone in your family? A spouse, parent, or child. Obviously those relationships you can not walk completely away from. BUT, you need to be very specific, clarify what you will and will not allow and enforce that you have boundaries. This will not be easy, you will have differing opinions, but you need to keep unhealthy people in your life at a distance and make them understand how far they can go.
Maintain your character. Manipulative people lie. Keep this tactic in mind. Remember, manipulative people are driven by fear and insecurity and will do whatever it takes to make themselves feel better. Be true to who you are,  who have you always been, manipulators have a pattern and I guarantee you are not the only one in their lives who sees it.
Set limits with people who try to manipulate you and clarify what it is that the relationship will be. Some people you just can not be close to in all of the ways you want to be because of unhealthy patterns or destructive habits.

 photo:http://www.activatemg.co.nz/middle-management-development/

Leave the NOT POSSIBLE, behind!

Success is not a far off dream that you cannot attain.Success is not a dream that doesn’t happen.
Success is not a “maybe”.... Success is leaving that, "NOT POSSIBLE" behind. Turn all of the obstacles into stepping stones.Get out of your own way, sometimes you are the biggest reason things have not changed. Never accept defeat.Get excited.Think big.Make it happen.Be part of the one percent that DO IT! Leaving behind the people or the things that make you believe that your dreams are not possible....can be a very tough thing to do. Obstacles come in all kinds of forms. I have really had my share of obstacles, too many to write on here and honestly, I really do not want to focus on them anymore. Learn to use the things that trip you up as a tool to get higher to your ultimate goals and dreams. It does not matter what town you are from, it does not matter what family you had or did not have, it does not matter who has come against you, what matters is that you make a choice today to never be the same. Look to the future. Know that the plans and purposes are planted deep in your heart and it is up to you to fulfill them and get out of your own way.

Mean what you say....and say what you mean!

Words....they have the power to heal, motivate,and encourage. Words.....also have the power to destroy, tear down, and cripple. I find it astounding how loosely people speak to each other sometimes in relationships. As if the words they say will be quickly forgiven or looked past in an instant. It just isn't true. I have been married for several years, married into a family where words have been thrown around like a volleyball their entire lives. I see how it destroys children, makes disrespectful teenagers, and poor intimate relationships. I have seen how people can truly hurt others with their communication. I can see how generations will be affected by the actions of today. It is very important to treat people in your life with deep respect and mutual admiration. Your children will see how you relate and become the mirror image of you. Generations always reap what you sow.

Why do unhealthy people resist change?

It is one of those questions I ask myself all the time, "Why do unhealthy people resist change?" You would imagine that an unhealthy person would want to get healthy and in many cases they do, but for some it really is a struggle. I am not even talking about the physical aspect of things, I am talking about the over all person from the inside out. Relationships can make people toxic and unhealthy, yet they stick around those people who will continue to abuse them, their trust, resources, etc. It makes no sense to me. However, if everyone were content and healthy I would be out of a job and we would all be in heaven. This side of heaven people will always have issues. It is how one handle things that make the difference.
There are some who have been living so unhealthy in so many areas of their life that if the healthy "bug" came up behind them and bit them in the rear end, they still would not be able to recognize it or even accept it. In fact, they may even reject 'healthy' because they do not know any better.
Most of the time the one(s) who are living in an unhealthy situation will not see it until something drastic happens. Recognizing that there needs to be lifestyle changes is the one key piece that will make the true difference.
We have heard the phrase, 'you can lead a horse to water but you can not make him drink,' it is cliche i know but very true. You can tell someone the truth, even if it hurts. You may also show them a better way, but you will never be able to make them change.
People change when they want to change and when their pain is greater for them then the fear of change itself.
What can you do as a person surrounded by unhealthy people?
Here are a few to start:
1. Be the change you want to see- all you can do is live your life the way you want to live and live it out healthy, true, and whole. Sooner or later those around you that have been spinning out of control will either spin out of your life all together or they will see a difference and maybe one day want some of that difference.
2. Keep healthy boundaries- stand your ground. Those who are unhealthy will reject your boundaries and manipulate you to feel guilty, feel sorry for taking a stand, for leaving, etc... STAND your GROUND!
Pick up the book Boundaries, by Cloud and Townsend.... awesome resource!!! Every family in America should read this book.
3. Seek Counseling- there is no shame in seeking wise counsel. Seek it...and find it...and do it! 
These are just a couple things but know that every day, every person has a choice. They have a choice to survive or thrive. Thriving is the way I want to live....how about you?

Good News...The power of happy thoughts

I love getting good news, don't you? I really can not imagine anyone not loving good news. I know for me and my family we have had some tough few weeks. It seemed like we had bad news every day last month. Today I am thrilled and celebrating for two very special people in my life. I have two very dear friends who have had an "out of the blue" surprise and it proves that all things can become beautiful in time, and how God always makes things new.
In our world it seems that stress and gloom can bombard our thinking, it can weigh us down, make us sad, and even depressed.Taking time to think about the good things that have come into your life makes you value what is important and re-evaluate some of your goals. Filing our spirits and minds with good and happy thoughts actually improves the quality of our life. When we constantly focus on the negative or live a life of comparison it creates a breeding ground for unhealthy thoughts to take over.

By changing the way you think you can create a more positive environment for yourself and those around you. I am taking today to rejoice, it is so important to love others enough to be able to rejoice with them when good things come their way. Celebrate all of life's big and small surprises!!

The poison of jealousy

Jealousy is a poison that will eat away at a person and destroy them from the inside out. It’s been said that, “Jealousy is a poison that I drink in the hope that the other person will die”. Webster’s dictionary defines jealousy as “Resentment or discontent against a rival or against seeing another’s success or advantage”. Jealousy and envy are very much related. Jealousy is feeling threatened that someone will take what is yours. Envy is feeling resentful that someone has, or is getting, something that you want, or feel is more rightfully yours. Jealousy and envy are founded in wanting what another person has, for example, material possessions, power, recognition, or relationships. It’s when I want what you have or want to be who you are or want to do what you do. When I look at you, I feel like I am missing out on something.

Jealousy is like a cancer that eats at your bones. It destroys relationships, and prospects of a hopeful future if you allow it to take root in your heart. 
So what is someone to do who deals with jealousy, jealousy is a spirit that can take over someones entire life, making them even believe things that just are not true. 
Breaking The Spirit of Jealousy:
1. Admit there is a problem and get your eyes off everyone else!
2.Run from it. When you admit their is an issue and you suspect those feelings rising turn your thoughts somewhere else. Think on good things!! Think on hope and love not hate and envy.

TEST yourself: Ask, "Can I really be happy for someone else and rejoice with them even if they get some thing I want or obtain something I can not have?"  If you are actually resentful and can not rejoice with them, you have a jealousy problem and need to get a hold of it before it takes over your life.

 Photo: sodahead.com

What is spoiling your life?

I know it seems like a strong question to be asking, but seriously ask yourself, "What is spoiling my life?" There is a passage of scripture that I can not help but think of, "Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom. Song of Solomon 2:15. " You see we have a vineyard, in the sense that we have our lives. Our lives are precious, short, and are meant to be lived to make an impact on the people around us. We were all created with purpose and thought. When we allow the sly little foxes to come into our life, over time they begin to ruin seeds that are planted and meant for growth. Many times the "foxes' can actually kill and ruin an entire crop.
So what is a fox? Well, a fox actually represents many things and even other people. What are the little foxes that are attempting to destroy your life and well being?
We are in a new season of life. A time of Spring is now upon each and everyone of us. The cold harsh winds of winter have blown through each and every one of our spirits at some time or another. But with the newness of spring, growth, and renewal bloom forth.
It is funny but a good observation and something I have always noticed in my life and while talking with others is that the little foxes always seem to come prowling around when we are getting our lives in order. Little foxes continue to eat away and gnaw at whatever they can in your life until it becomes a bigger fox. Sly foxes are not easy to catch and take down, they are sly, they are cunning, and they know where you are. But to catch a fox is not impossible, it is about recognizing it is there, it is ruining your "vineyard" of life and you will no longer tolerate it.
There are things we have to hold onto in life, things that are precious and are important. So go and discover what little foxes are attacking your life....it is time for growth, new beginnings, and victory.

Low Fat and Healthy Blueberry Muffins

Today I did some experimenting. Trying to cut the fat calories from food is not easy, especially when baking. Everything seems to use butter (lots of it) and sugar (lots of that too). I am searching for better alternatives. I have been using Stevia to replace sugar, stevia has  zero calories and you can use less than what the recipe calls for in sugar. I also have made a switch to coconut oil versus butter. This is an incredible alternative for butter. It has the same consistency but with a million times more healthier reasons to switch. I have also used olive oil instead of butter in some recipes. It really is one of those things you have to experiment with while baking. Stevia and Coconut Oil are two amazing things that will not disappoint.

So this is what my experimenting came up with today and I have to admit they are pretty good. I hope you can try them and maybe tweak them to suit your taste. Enjoy!
Blueberry Muffins
1 cup of non bleached all purpose flour
1 cup of wheat flour
3 tablespoons of Stevia
1 tsp of baking powder
1/2 tsp of baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
2 cups of low fat organic milk
2 tablespoons of Olive oil
1 large egg
2 tsp of vanilla
2 cups fresh blueberries
Zest of one lemon
1 scoop of Fiber boost (optional but you can buy the fiber boost HERE)
Topping
1/2 cup uncooked oatmeal
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp of stevia
1/2 cup slivered almonds
Preheat oven to 400, place cupcake liners in pan or use a non stick spray in your muffin tins.
Mix all the dry ingredients. Flour, stevia, baking powder, baking soda, fiber boost, and salt. In small bowl mix the milk, olive oil, egg, and vanilla. Make a small hole in the dry mixture and pour the liquid mixture into the center and begin to stir until blended. Fold in the blueberries and place the mix into the muffin tins. Fill 2/3 of the way and top with oatmeal, cinnamon, and stevia mixture.
Bake 18-20 minutes.
Makes 12.

I hope you enjoy creating something new and healthy for yourself and family.

Wellness Program

Just started a wellness program for women who want to achieve better health and want support while reaching their goals. We will meet once a month for a physical activity such as yoga, walking, hiking, etc. We will work out together and then have some time to talk about our goals and challenges we face meeting them. I am opening this up to any women in the area that are interested. Please email me for more information.   (mylittlelifecoach@gmail.com)